You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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