is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize