Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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