he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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