I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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