My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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