i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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