How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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