Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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