Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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