I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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