Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize