How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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