You smell like a Billy Joel song
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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