ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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