I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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