Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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