i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
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I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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