Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have post one night stand depression
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