So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize