ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize