quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Panties = found
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize