I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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