just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
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I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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