im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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