Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize