You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
soo... how was my night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize