Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize