so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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