Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize