so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
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Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BRING THE BAGELS
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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