I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize