and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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