Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize