I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize