GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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