but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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