Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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