It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize