I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize