Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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