dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize