I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She announced her abortion via fbk
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need moral support for this bender
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize