I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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