so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize