you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize