My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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