I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize