You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize