The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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